1 once thought twice about 3 times that.
Then I thought it again. Then I thought it again. Then I thought it again. Then I thought it again. Then I thought it again.
For one of them was TRUE and Good.
Permute the whole place, here.
New price is $22.
I was yachting with a lumberjack and a farmer.
The lumberjack turns to me, and he says, “hey, I like your shirt.”
So I turn to the farmer and I say, “I love chaos.”
The farmer turns to the lumberjack, and recommends this shirt, here.
New price is $22.
I wondered what this upscale tee meant.
And then I asked my phone.
Really, really amazing.
Well, it’s all less confusing, here.
You don’t know Jack.
He got a’hold of himself a boomerang,
Him, the Queen, the King,
Said he’d never come back.
Well I tell you what,
He’ll be back.
They always come back, here.
It’s that time again.
Midnight, I think, or maybe noon.
That’s the time it was last time.
It’s always that time, here.
O! That fox, how he lept, leapt, and leaped
for those delicious grapes, high upon the branch.
Lucky for him, he could not reach them,
because they were sour and gross.
Unlucky for the rabbit, he could reach him,
because he was hungry and angry at those stupid grapes.
I think that’s how it went. Let’s ask the whole warren, here.
Ah yes, there was that story once,
where the hedgehog fell in love
with that delicate, delicate balloon
filled with toxic poison.
As I recall, they hugged often,
and lived happily ever after, here.
Do you remember that old tale they told,
about the beaver and the Old Man’s oak tree?
Where the cross Old Man asked the beaver to remove the ol’ Oak in his backyard.
The old man gets the bill, it’s like $900—wayyyyyyy over the estimate. I didn’t ask for this. OK, fine, destumping I asked for that, but the tire rotation, the embossed fleurs-de-lis, these ivory accents, the boob job, the cityscape—an entire city? Are you kidding me?!
“But it has a sunroof, now. It looks really nice,” said the beaver.
“I didn’t ask for a sunroof. I just asked for my tree cut down.”
“Right, and destumped.”
I forget what the moral is, but the boobs look nice here.
Ah, there’s that old fabled fable,
where the army made of Mice
stood up to the charging Elephant.
I recall, they were so brave,
maybe more than able.
I also recollect, how it ended—
A lot of flat mice.
Run it down here.
Do you remember that old Aesop fable
About the pit bull whose ball was on the table?
I think the moral was:
“Always get your ball off the table.”
Go fetch, here.
We who eat the moon in a single bite,
shall drink the sea in a single gulp.
Do you see my teethmarks on the moon?
And we’ll finish it off with snacks, here.
I, for one, have always wondered: What are the parts of the fox?
Certainly, they are many. Let us consider them all, thoughtfully:
- Triangles in the Ears
- The Mutton Chops
- Jack O’ Lantern
Thankfully, I may now consult my shirt, worn upon my chest, here.
Walking in Budapest, sharp-eyed Chris once observed:
There was a sign, and so simply it told you—without words or arrows—that this set of stairs would not lead you to the castle.
“Could you say so much with so little?” we asked.
If so, you master, draw us how it would sound, draw how the castle would smell, draw out the spirits of contented people.
If so, you may follow the stairwell here.
There was a time, last fall.
I asked a scientist to tell me about the wind. And he showed me this.
Then I asked the wind to tell me about the scientist. And he showed me this.
Now, I have forgotten which was which. But it does not matter.
Surely, the true thing can be found here.
Please, it is late, and I am tired, and my hairs need washed, every one.
I am busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy with things, and the day, and every moment and minutiae and—
But, wait, hey, Sweet, if only now, we can make time, I think, to say hello.
If only we meet at such and such time, here.
To my dear friend, Róka, who admired the lifestyle of the fox, and sought to emulate it.
He was shot dead—raiding a chicken coop—at the tender age of 29. Naked.
The gods took pity on him, and placed him on my shirts.
“Your upscale shirt is so awesome, it is like a ferocious winged dragon with giant bull horns, who holds electric eels in his hands, eels that spit deadly poison, and so cool he sits upon an even awesomer tiger.”
I asked him to draw this design for me. As I put the shirt upon my chest, I asked him, “But Jimmy, where is the tiger?”
The wise child only laughed at this foolish old man.
Ahhhh. There is the tiger!
Uh oh. You’re surrounded, friend.
Take to the trees.
Surely, you’ll be safe, there.
Authentic mustache of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
Genuine six-shooter of Julius Caesar.
Tragic. Truly tragic.
Upset an empire, here.
Maybe top hat? Maybe top hate?
But who could hate a top hat?
I assure you, there are bad people in this world.
Let’s start the fire here.
Swimming in a pack.
The one who smiles is kingly.
Now, nature, decide.
Haiku it here.
Just coffee stains, but for keeps. Spot the pattern in a square.
You can even change the color.
Split one here.
Was machst du?
Ich? Nichts. Aber ich habe einen guten Hut.
Guck mal hier
Shark can’t help it.
It’s his nature.
Live like it here.
What does it say? Only your blind friends will know.
Start a conversation.
Touch it here.
What does it say? The meaning is open to interpretation. (And closed.)
Close it down here.
Have you ever wondered what it is like to be an Alligator (or Alligatort)?