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FAQ

Q: Do you sell t-shirts?
A: Yes. Click here to see them all.

Q: What makes Upscale special?
A: Great shirts. Either you get it or you don’t. They combine clever and often inscrutable designs with outrageously high prices. Try finding that anywhere else.

Q: Who would buy an $85 tee?
A: Awesome people.

Q: Are you kidding?
A: Upscale never kids.

Q: Seriously, who would buy an $85 tee shirt? You know it’s just a teeshirt, right?
A: Of course we know that. Look, we’re not just selling you a shirt with an awesome design, although we’re definitely doing that. We’re selling you a brand that instead of just ripping you off, actually gives you something down the road. Think about this: every brand you buy is overcharging you—even junky brands—you know this, Upscale knows this, everybody knows this. When you buy any clothing, you’re paying extra for the privilege of sporting some logo. Well, Upscale is better than other brands because we recognize that fact—and so instead of just taking your money, we additionally make it a point to appreciate your teeshirt for you. Since you’re going to be buying a status symbol anyway, why not buy one that looks like an even better status symbol as time goes on? With Upscale, anyone can look up your teeshirt to see its outrageous price. And when they do, they will think one of two things, depending on whether they’ve read our appreciation page:

  1. “Wow, he’s a baller. That shirt is crazy expensive,”—which is what you wanted them to think anyway or you wouldn’t buy a designer brand.


  2. OR

  3. “Wow, he had a lot of foresight to buy that while it was cheap and wait for it to appreciate, knowing it would make him look like an even bigger baller. He has money, brains, and prudence, too!”

Also not a bad thing.
That is who buys an $85 Upscale teeshirt.

Q: OK, fine, so what are the details of this crazy appreciation thing I’ve heard so much about?
A: Read all about that here.

Q: Right, but say it appreciates. For $100 I could buy a dress shirt or something.
A: Go ahead. There are plenty of situations where dress shirts are appropriate. But there are other situations where teeshirts are appropriate. And in those, wouldn’t you rather wear the best one?

Q: Sure, but for $85, I could buy maybe like 4 other teeshirts. Why would I pay that much to buy just ONE upscale?
A: And how many of those four teeshirts can you wear at once? Probably not more than three. And even then, you’ll only be able to see the design on the top one. So, instead of walking around wearing three teeshirts and getting really warm, why don’t you just wear one Upscale–which has the best design anyway–and look much better and smarter? It’s clear you’ll make a better impression wearing one Upscale than wearing three, four, or even a dozen other teeshirts.

Q: OK, well how will I know an Upscale when I see it?
A: Learn how to identify upscales here.

Q: What’s going on with this Lowball price change? They Lowballs are cheap now?
A: Yeah, read here.

Q: I looked in the women’s gallery, and couldn’t find my favorite designs, such as Relax Alligatort, and Jadransko Rorschach. Do you have these available for women, too?
A: We make almost every design in a women’s fit, too, but you might need to go to our full store to find them. Check here to see them.

Q: T-shirt or teeshirt?
A: Upscale.

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