Elephant’s Braveyard

Elephant's Braveyard

Ah, there’s that old fabled fable,
where the army made of Mice
stood up to the charging Elephant.
I recall, they were so brave,
maybe more than able.
I also recollect, how it ended—

A lot of flat mice.

Run it down here.

$105
(You can still get it for $29.)
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Fabled November

November’s Upscale tees are all themed off Aesop’s fables, all of your favorites, including your favorites you’ve never even heard of before.

Have you seen our first? It’s the heart-wrenching story of an angry yet gentle terrier, whose malicious owner hid his favorite ball far away from him. As we all know, terriers aren’t allowed on the table. What’s an upscale pit bull to do? This, that’s what.

Well, even better—in November we’re launching a massive expansion of our Lowball line and some big pricing changes. Join the mailing list to stay updated on the upscalest developments.

Thanks,
Upscale

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Third Appreciation Day

Prices have again appreciated for the month of November. Enjoy your Upscales.

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Pit Bull’s Dilemma

Pit Bull's Dilemma

Do you remember that old Aesop fable
About the pit bull whose ball was on the table?
I think the moral was:
“Always get your ball off the table.”

Go fetch, here.

$105
(You can still get it for $29.)
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Moon Bite

Moon Bite

We who eat the moon in a single bite,
shall drink the sea in a single gulp.

Do you see my teethmarks on the moon?

And we’ll finish it off with snacks, here.

$115
(You can still get it for $29.)
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So do Turtles live like Sharks

So do Turtles Live like Sharks

While wearing a handsome upscale shirt, I was reminded:

How clever Sasha told me that turtles too, must keep moving.

And that, friend, is why turtles never die.

Let us follow behind them, hastily, here.

$115
(You can still get it for $29.)
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Parts of the Fox

Parts of the Fox

I, for one, have always wondered: What are the parts of the fox?

Certainly, they are many. Let us consider them all, thoughtfully:

  • Head
  • Triangles in the Ears
  • The Mutton Chops
  • Mustaches
  • Cunning
  • Jack O’ Lantern

Thankfully, I may now consult my shirt, worn upon my chest, here.

$115
(You can still get it for $29.)
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These Stairs

These Stairs do not Lead to the Castle

Walking in Budapest, sharp-eyed Chris once observed:

There was a sign, and so simply it told you—without words or arrows—that this set of stairs would not lead you to the castle.

“Could you say so much with so little?” we asked.

If so, you master, draw us how it would sound, draw how the castle would smell, draw out the spirits of contented people.

If so, you may follow the stairwell here.

$115
(You can still get it for $29.)
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I am a Model

I am a Model

There was a time, last fall.

I asked a scientist to tell me about the wind. And he showed me this.

Then I asked the wind to tell me about the scientist. And he showed me this.

Now, I have forgotten which was which. But it does not matter.

Surely, the true thing can be found here.

$115
(You can still get it for $29.)
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Half Passed

Half Passed: An Excellent Upscale Teeshirt

Please, it is late, and I am tired, and my hairs need washed, every one.

I am busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy with things, and the day, and every moment and minutiae and—

But, wait, hey, Sweet, if only now, we can make time, I think, to say hello.

If only we meet at such and such time, here.

$125
(You can still get it for $29.)
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